Trying to Slow Down

Things have seemed crazy busy since school started back up.  I mean in one day we go from not having any kind of schedule or needing to be anywhere specifically to everyone having a schedule and needing to be all different places before 7:00 in the morning.  Going back to school is always hard.  Each year has gotten a little more difficult leaving my babies and their smiling faces.  Don't get me wrong, they love daycare and enjoy playing with other kids all day.  I struggle more than either of them.

We have been in school for about a month now and I still feel like I am always behind.  I am rushing out the door, quickly buckling kids in, and driving through traffic with my fingers wrapped tight around the steering wheel.  I always have something else on my mind then what I am doing at the moment.  I am very much a list person.  I usually have multiple lists started in multiple places that run and control my day.  My brain feels scattered and without my lists I would never remember anything.  I am so bad that I will add things to my "list of things to get done" that I already did just to feel like I am accomplishing more.  (I know, it is pathetic.)  

A couple of weeks ago I came across an article on another blog that has changed my perspective on my schedule.  The Day I Stopped Saying "Hurry Up" made me sit down and really think about my priorities.  I realized how often I am being that Mom.  I always feel behind to were I am rushing through each day, just to wake up and start all over again.  I could think back to multiple times in the previous day that I had said that to Lukas.  He is such a curious kid right now and instead of embracing that, I was rushing him through his questions and discoveries.  I felt like a horrible mother, that could not stop long enough to just smile at my kids and enjoy these memories.  I by no means have turned a 180 and have become perfect at this slow down thing, but I am really trying hard.  What is another 2 minutes of digging in the dirt going to hurt, or letting him take the time to dress himself.  Lawson needs that extra hug before I leave the door at daycare, and I love giving it.  An extra 30 seconds won't get me trouble.  I am working at sitting down, leaving my phone out of reach and playing with the boys instead of worrying about the dishes or the laundry thrown all over the house.  It will wait on me, their childhood won't.

I had a perfect moment tonight to cap off my efforts.  Lukas stopped in the middle of playing and came over and told me he just needed a hug.  I know it seems simple, but getting the chance to squeeze him in my arms after a tough day made my whole world brighten.  My family means the world to me and I have been so blessed to be missing out on our memories!

**I know my posts are not usually about my personal struggles, but it impacted me and I thought it might help someone else out there as well.**