Then there is the other side where you are the new mom, or just struggling mom and you have people giving you advice from all sides. You know they are trying to be helpful, but you just feel the weight of failure and strain of not knowing what your baby needs. You think everyone else has more skills and ideas and must be better parents than you. You can't even soothe your own child. (The best is the staring eyes at the grocery story when your child is screaming. Really people....like that is helping.) You go day by day just trying to figure it out, and that is okay.
I was unsure what to expect going into the world of mother of three. I had talked with other moms out there, but every situation and family is different. Each child has their own schedule and routine. Its not something you can predict. In my experience though going from two children to three was easier for me than going from one child to two. I think I had myself better prepared with the experience. When we were preparing for our second you have concerns about how to share your time and how will you ever love them enough. This time around I knew that your heart just grows with more love and that new baby fills a place in your heart that you didn't even realize was there. I was excited for that feeling this time instead of scared and unsure. Since Laney has been born I feel like she has just slipped into our family like she has always been here. She is a very content little girl that has made this change much easier on all of us.
I remember when Lawson was born I really struggled transitioning to two kids. I was an emotional mess and constantly feeling like I wasn't fulfilling each of their needs. I was exhausted from the sleepless nights. Lawson was not a great sleeper so we had a lot of middle of the night cuddles. In my opinion, I think the sleep thing is the key. Its a make or break feeling of how things are going. Ask any new mom and it always comes down to the amount of sleep you are getting. For obvious reasons we all need sleep, I also have found that is when I get the most frustrated. During the day I am more relaxed and patient with the cries and fuss. The night is where I always feel the pressure. Especially being a breastfeeding mom when you can't just pass off to Dad and have him give it a try. Then you look down at that little face in your arms with sleepy eyes and they look back and give you a smile that just melts your heart. You relax a little more and tell yourself to enjoy this; it won't last forever (even though at the moment it seems like every hour all night long). I do look at Luke now though and have that yearning in my heart to just cuddle him up and sleep in a chair as if he was a baby. Those baby days are precious and the sleepless nights disappear and you forget just how exhausted you felt. Forgetting is probably the reason I am rocking my third little baby now and didn't stop after one.
Although I am still new at the three children thing I have found so many things that were easier this time around. Having the two older boys it has been nice that they like to entertain each other and play together. I can be in the room with them and interacting, but I also know that they're very happy playing together and that mommy guilt subsides a little. My oldest has also gotten older with the third baby coming. Luke is actually helpful this time around, instead of confused by all the change. I can ask him to get me something or help with a pacifier or bottle and he understands. Its adorable watching him with his siblings too. He is such a good big brother and proud of it as well. Lawson watches him very closely and tries to copy his actions. My favorite is his announcements to us that Laney is crying, as if we don't notice :)
I have grown as a parent and don't know what the standards are to be a great mom, but I know I am doing something right. I know that because of my love for my children. That doesn't mean I have all the answers or an expert on what is best for children according to all the books. I never claim to know it all, but I know what has worked or not worked for us and enjoyed all the puzzles we have had to solve. I am more confident in how we raise and handle our children. Of course we have concerns, mess up, and worry about if we are doing it right, but I know showing them we love them will go a long way. It is the best thing we can do for them!
Although I am still new at the three children thing I have found so many things that were easier this time around. Having the two older boys it has been nice that they like to entertain each other and play together. I can be in the room with them and interacting, but I also know that they're very happy playing together and that mommy guilt subsides a little. My oldest has also gotten older with the third baby coming. Luke is actually helpful this time around, instead of confused by all the change. I can ask him to get me something or help with a pacifier or bottle and he understands. Its adorable watching him with his siblings too. He is such a good big brother and proud of it as well. Lawson watches him very closely and tries to copy his actions. My favorite is his announcements to us that Laney is crying, as if we don't notice :)
I have grown as a parent and don't know what the standards are to be a great mom, but I know I am doing something right. I know that because of my love for my children. That doesn't mean I have all the answers or an expert on what is best for children according to all the books. I never claim to know it all, but I know what has worked or not worked for us and enjoyed all the puzzles we have had to solve. I am more confident in how we raise and handle our children. Of course we have concerns, mess up, and worry about if we are doing it right, but I know showing them we love them will go a long way. It is the best thing we can do for them!
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